Log in

No account? Create an account

Message From A Mentor

      One of my greatest mentors sent me an email a few days ago. This was sent after I sent him an email apologizing for being such a lousy correspondent and telling him of what’s been happening to me and my career. I heard from a common friend that he was feeling bad that I no longer send him emails. He retired and settled in the US less than a year after I went on board but he was the one who hired me. We hit it off right away and he became a father figure to me. Below is his short yet inspiring message:


Dear Ruby,


Good morning. Glad to hear from you again.  I understand that you are doing pretty well in your job and now has bigger responsibilities.  Good for you.  Be patient, do whatever you are doing, always give 101% and best effort.  Somewhere something better is waiting for you.  It took me more than 10 years before I got a break (it took you 8 years or less). 


Best regard.



      I was told that he also wants me to work in the US. He feels that I could be more successful there. I don’t have any inclination to settle abroad and told him and another friend that maybe when I get married someday and the husband wants to settle abroad, I’d consider. But not as things stand right now.


     I am just so fortunate that I have people like him in my life. I don’t get to meet him these days but he still cares. He even makes the effort to look at my pictures in facebook using our friend’s account. It means a lot to me you know.


To Greet Or Not To Greet

      Somebody from my past is celebrating his birthday right now. For some reason, I still remember his birthday after all these years. Maybe because it was the day when I finally accepted that he’d already left. It was doomed from the start and we were not really surprised when it was over. I marked that day in my mind.


      Now I’ve moved on. Although I still know his whereabouts and I guess he knows mine too, I don’t think I’d want to go back to the hell I’ve been through five years ago. But it’s his birthday today. My mind is fighting a battle – should I greet him or not? I want to. Not because I still have feelings for him but because we’re still friends (in fact, I asked him to find me a place in Taguig. ☺). But part of me doesn’t want to because I don’t want him to think of it as though it means more than a friendly greeting.


      I promised myself that never again will I ever subject myself to that kind of torture over someone who will never make me a priority in his life. I know that until now I’m still learning that lesson. I still find myself trapped in almost the same situation and I still get lost but I’m slowly finding my way.


      I think I won’t greet him anymore.


Cheap Date Award

      Forgive me for going on and on about poker but it’s my current passion right now. I just found it so amusing too that I got the Cheap Date Award recently.


      You see, in this online poker that I’m playing in, there’s an option there if you want to buy gifts for a certain player in the table. It comes with a “virtual cost”. Some gifts would only cost $5 but some could go as high as $25,000. I didn’t know there’s a cost to that and when a colleague suggested that I change my profile picture to “attract” buddies with more chips, I changed it. I wasn’t really serious because I don’t like asking for chips. I want my “earnings” to be from my own effort. I only changed to see if I can distract players. As if! Anyway, I’ve been receiving more gifts than usual since then – cognac, tequila, daisy, rose, smooch, etc., and they all cost a lot of chips. I just kept thanking the giver but thought nothing of it. Even John (refer to previous post), protective as he is, is amused how I keep receiving gifts.


      Because of these gifts, I got the Cheap Date Award. LOL. They have no idea how close they are to the truth (not that I’m easy but I just mean I’m mababaw, let’s make that clear ). Goodness, even my poker game keeps reminding me about it!


Poker Buddy

      I’ve only started playing poker online just recently. Less than a week to be exact, thanks to another addict who invited me in. Everytime I go online, there’s always a playmate who’d invite me to be a poker buddy. I don’t usually accept invites unless I find them good, they have way more chips than I do (in case I lose big time), and they really are nice.


      Last weekend, I accepted a new buddy and as it happens, he’s a Filipino living in Las Vegas. I don’t know why I accepted his invitation. Maybe because he’s Filipino and he seemed generous in giving me chances to win. He’s also quite protective of me when I become impulsive. Well, during our session last Sunday, he’d been winning big time and I kept folding. He said I was his lucky charm and all the other players were teasing us. It was all in good fun. I guess we were all bored that day. LOL. As it turned out, he later told me, that he lost most of his chips when I left the table and went offline. Looks like I really was his lucky charm.


      Anyway, I just can’t believe how fast it is to make friends when you share the same hobby. It’s like finding kindred spirits. To John, thanks for making my online poker games more fun. See you next game!


10 Types Of Men To Stay Away From

      Got this from the internet. Whether I believe the items below, I’d rather not give my opinion. I know a few men who are just like these types but I do believe that there’s somebody for someone. Lahat nakakahanap ng katapat.

      Currently on the market?  Good for you, girl!  But make sure you read this post before rushing into a new relationship.  Here are ten types of man that are not likely to make you happy, and from my point of view, it’s better to stay away from them as soon as they show one of these patterns.  

1. Born complainers …

Nothing will ever be good enough for this man, you’ll always be too loud, too stupid, too happy…..Avoid him like you would the plague, you’ll never be good enough for him and he’ll just kill your self esteem.

2. ‘Damaged’ men …

… Who don’t want to be fixed. On your first date he’ll announce that he is not over his broken heart. On your tenth, you’ll realise that he isn’t just broken hearted; he enjoys it, and has made a solemn pact to never let anybody in again. His armour is so thick that you’ll never get through, so don’t waste your time trying.

3. Guys that love sports more than you …

Most guys will put a sport first at some point, but you know that he’ll be there for you if you need him. Guys who love sports too much, however, won’t care if the house is on fire or the babies crying, he’ll just want another beer and some “peace” to watch the match.

4. Men who analyse you …

He thinks he’s Freud, and analyses your every move, from the flavour of crisp you choose to what you watch on TV. He’ll sit with a smug smile, convinced that by labelling you he’ll be keeping you hooked. Soon he’ll be trying to “fix” you with his weird theories….bin him now.

5. Pretty-Pretty boys …

They will just leave you feeling ugly while he spends his time fixing his hair and acting more beautiful and delicate then you. Find a more masculine man, and leave him preening himself.

6. Mr. I’m-Better-Than-Everyone …

He won’t do you any favours either. He’ll never smile, or be happy for you, and if you spend long enough with him you’ll start to despise the human race too. Leave him to feel smugly better than anyone, and go meet someone amazing.

7. Paranoid men …       

Something gave them the green eyed monster, and it’s just never gone away. He’ll presume you’re cheating, hate anything that makes you look good and constantly accuse you of flirting with others. He won’t be happy until he’s the only person in your life, so bail now.

8. Men who just haven’t grown up …

These men refuse to get a job, blame everyone else for their laziness and unhappiness, and are constantly outraged that they are not respected. If he hasn’t grown up by now, chances are he’ll never take any responsibility, so stay well clear.

9. Cheaters …

Obviously, it doesn’t matter who this guy has waiting for him at home, if he sees somebody he likes, he’ll seduce them. Save yourself the heartache and live by the old saying, “Once a cheater, always a cheater”, because if it wasn’t true, wouldn’t somebody have proved it wrong by now?

10. Cruel men …

The kind of man who gets off from the power of refusing to take you somewhere, or spend money on you, or any type of power at all. He won’t get better, and it’s not because he loves you. Walk away, as fast as you can.


My Beloved Hobbies

      I am pretty much a boring person. The things that I love to do are not really that exciting. It’s weird but it doesn’t discourage me from doing them at all.


I love to…


1. Read books    -       I’ve been reading pocketbooks since I was nine and by the time that I reached my tween years, I was already reading romance novels. That’s how I knew that I’ll forever be a sucker for romance.


2. Cross-stitch   -       I must’ve completed more than a dozen huge patterns and unfortunately, I had to stop because there’s not much time. I plan to go back someday. There’s something about it that relaxes my mind.


3. Play poker     -       I got this from my brothers and I just learned lately that I have friends from way back in high school and college that are playing professionally now. It’s just so fun being able to read people’s next move and beating them at their own game. In fact, that’s the only reason why I have a facebook account – to play online poker for free.


4. Sleep            -       Ahh, this has got to be my most favorite hobby. If only I have all the time in the world to do this often. LOL.


5. Cook             -       I don’t profess to be a very good cook. I still need a lot of practice but since I just don’t have enough time, I couldn’t seem to do this often. Whenever I stay at home, I cook for the family and so far they have no complaints. Someday, I’d like to be able to do this often.


6. Listen to jokes       -       I am so easy to please. Most men that I dated got the opportunity because they made me laugh. Somebody once told me that because it’s such a main criteria for me but I’ve such poor taste in jokes, therefore, I am an “easy girl” (Was it you Ian?). I hope not. I know a good joke when I hear one.


7. People-watch        -       Now, most people would travel and go for whale-watching, have pictures taken, and see scenic spots. Me? I love to watch people. That’s what I do when I travel. I just love watching them do their own thing and, often, I make stories about them in my mind. I would figure out people’s personalities just by watching them. People really are interesting subjects.


8. Sing      -       How could I not love this? I often tell people that if only I have a great voice, I wouldn’t be working as a corporate slave anymore. I’d be in every bar that you could find belting my favorite songs. Since it’s too late to dream about that, I settle for videoke bars instead. At least for a while I can pretend that I can sing.


9. Dance   -       Just like my singing, this is also a hopeless case. Nevertheless, I still dance whenever I have the chance. I used to date someone who loved to go to bars and we’d dance together. He used to compliment me with my dancing and tell me that those that are good at dancing are also good in bed. Yeah right like I’ll ever give him the chance to find out.


10. Watch movies      -       I don’t watch television often but I do love going to movie houses and watch my favorite movies on the big screen. I just don’t have the time to do this regularly but whenever good movies are shown, I try to find time. There’s also one thing that I’ve never been able to do ever since. It’s watching movies alone. Someday I’d do this just for experience’s sake. It shouldn’t be such a pathetic thing to do, should it?


Twitter Account

      Just in case you're interested, I just wanna share my twitter account. It's www.twitter.com/biangibs. Just like my blog, it's not as updated as I would want to but I post whenever I have the chance.

      Why biangibs? It's a pet name that my sister gave me when I was really, really young. I didn't like it (I still don't) but it somehow stuck and later evolved to bea and to other nastier names. Since I've missed this name in a weird way, I'm using this in my twitter account. Ang haba ng explanation ko!



      I’m back at work with a nasty limp after being on leave for one week. I hate looking like an invalid but I can’t help it. It’s killing me if I walk on my left foot. According to the hilot, it seems that I’ve dislocated a vein. I’d have loved to go on sick leave but I just can’t. There’s too much work pending in the office. As it happens, when my boss and the rest of my officemates saw me limping, they all have their theories on the reason why. None of which was close to the truth.


      I can’t be so sure how I got the injury. All I know is that the pain started late Saturday afternoon but it was bearable. It was when I woke up Sunday morning when I can barely walk due to the pain. Looking back, I must’ve gotten it last Friday. Don’t ask how I think it happened last Friday. You wouldn’t want to know.


      I just find it so funny how people come up with their own theories. I can’t blame them. I was out for a week and came back with a limp. They added one and one and came up with four. I was actually tempted to hold a contest that whoever could guess the reason for my limp correctly would get a special prize from me. I just didn’t pursue it because I couldn’t think of a prize.


     My boss keeps pressuring me that I should have it checked by a doctor. If I know doctors correctly, they’d either give me pain relievers or have my foot cast. Either option doesn’t sound good to me. So, being hardheaded that I am, I think I can still bear the pain. It’ll hopefully go away in a few days. For the meantime, I’ll have fun listening to their theories.



      If there’s one thing that would describe how I’ve lived my life, it would be that I played too safely, that is, I didn’t go for overtly physical challenges, dangerous adventures, and dare-devil stunts. Until just recently. In broad daylight where people might see. Only one person is witness to that act and I pray to the high heavens that there’s no one else.


      If I could describe it in a vague but precise manner, it was such a risky but an exhilarating, heady experience. For a few minutes, I felt like I was finally free.


      To you who made it possible, at that time when we did it, I’m not sure whether to thank you or to hate you for making me do such a very “dangerous” stunt. It was so unlike me. I couldn’t look at you in the eye right after because I was shocked and a little ashamed.


      Nevertheless, there’s something about it that would forever be in my memories. I could never have done it if not for you. Again and again, it amazes me that you could make me do things that I never thought I would. I never thought I had the guts. I guess I was just feeding on your guts. You have enough for the two of us. LOL.


      I am not sure how it made you feel. You never tell me about these things in a serious way. I do wish you would. For all I know, you could be thinking that I’m such an idiot and I know I must’ve frustrated you at times. Well, since you started teaching me all these, just be patient. I’ll find my way soon. You just might be surprised one day.


      By the way, my car misses you already.


Scandalous Jealousy

      I travelled with a Japanese-American for almost 2 weeks. I didn’t mind at first. I’ve known him for years and he’s one of the most well-respected directors in the company – morally and technically. What worried me was that he has a jealous wife – a very, very jealous Filipina wife. She’s notorious for throwing a fit everytime she gets jealous over anyone that even slightly looks at her husband. I’ve heard stories about their marriage which could explain what made her so insecure but it’s definitely not because of her husband being unfaithful. One look at her husband and you’d know that he can’t do it. He’s a very good man as far as I know.


      Anyway, there were several instances that she actually meddled and found ways to move any employee under her husband that she gets jealous with. Not that I’m afraid of that because she doesn’t have a clout over me. I work for her husband’s boss too and it just so happens that her husband is needed for the current project that I’m working on. What I’m just wary of is the scandal that she could create. It’s a good thing that there were two more men who joined us. Nevertheless, I’ve heard rumors that she’s starting to ask around about me.


     I’ve always been careful in steering clear away from scandals. Despite that, I was still rumored to be a mistress of my former boss and while nobody really bought it in the office and it was done so discreetly, I didn’t like it. I found myself crying over it for two whole nights before I was able to move on. Even my current boss knows how I dread being talked about in the office – positive or negative. I rarely even talk about my personal life (except for a very select few) just to prevent any kind of talk about me.


     Just to avoid those rumors, I often have to lie to people that I’m engaged so they’d shut up and stop making stories. Maybe I should really start talking about my personal life so they’d stop getting so intrigued about me. I think that’s what fuels the “who-I’m-with” talks because I seem so mysterious to them. I can’t help it if I’m a private person really and I can’t help it too if I often have to work with men who may be committed. It’s not as though I flirt with them. I’m not even sure if I still know how to do that. It’s just work and what I do with my personal life is my business.


      I just hope that the wives and girlfriends and their “spies” stop looking at me as though I’m a threat. I do understand how they feel because I, too, had my “jealous moments”. But I didn’t create scenes and I usually get the facts straight. I may not be married yet but it doesn’t mean I’m out to grab their husbands and boyfriends. I can’t even sort out my personal life and I don’t need further complication okay? When I do get married I’ll probably send them a note so they’d shut up already. So there, that should clear things up.



Journey To My Soul

Latest Month

July 2009


RSS Atom
Powered by LiveJournal.com
Designed by chasethestars