One of my greatest mentors sent me an email a few days ago. This was sent after I sent him an email apologizing for being such a lousy correspondent and telling him of what’s been happening to me and my career. I heard from a common friend that he was feeling bad that I no longer send him emails. He retired and settled in the US less than a year after I went on board but he was the one who hired me. We hit it off right away and he became a father figure to me. Below is his short yet inspiring message:

Dear Ruby,

Good morning. Glad to hear from you again.  I understand that you are doing pretty well in your job and now has bigger responsibilities.  Good for you.  Be patient, do whatever you are doing, always give 101% and best effort.  Somewhere something better is waiting for you.  It took me more than 10 years before I got a break (it took you 8 years or less). 

Best regard.

R

      I was told that he also wants me to work in the US. He feels that I could be more successful there. I don’t have any inclination to settle abroad and told him and another friend that maybe when I get married someday and the husband wants to settle abroad, I’d consider. But not as things stand right now.

      Somebody from my past is celebrating his birthday right now. For some reason, I still remember his birthday after all these years. Maybe because it was the day when I finally accepted that he’d already left. It was doomed from the start and we were not really surprised when it was over. I marked that day in my mind.

      Now I’ve moved on. Although I still know his whereabouts and I guess he knows mine too, I don’t think I’d want to go back to the hell I’ve been through five years ago. But it’s his birthday today. My mind is fighting a battle – should I greet him or not? I want to. Not because I still have feelings for him but because we’re still friends (in fact, I asked him to find me a place in Taguig. ☺). But part of me doesn’t want to because I don’t want him to think of it as though it means more than a friendly greeting.

      I promised myself that never again will I ever subject myself to that kind of torture over someone who will never make me a priority in his life. I know that until now I’m still learning that lesson. I still find myself trapped in almost the same situation and I still get lost but I’m slowly finding my way.

      I think I won’t greet him anymore.

      Forgive me for going on and on about poker but it’s my current passion right now. I just found it so amusing too that I got the Cheap Date Award recently.

      You see, in this online poker that I’m playing in, there’s an option there if you want to buy gifts for a certain player in the table. It comes with a “virtual cost”. Some gifts would only cost $5 but some could go as high as $25,000. I didn’t know there’s a cost to that and when a colleague suggested that I change my profile picture to “attract” buddies with more chips, I changed it. I wasn’t really serious because I don’t like asking for chips. I want my “earnings” to be from my own effort. I only changed to see if I can distract players. As if! Anyway, I’ve been receiving more gifts than usual since then – cognac, tequila, daisy, rose, smooch, etc., and they all cost a lot of chips. I just kept thanking the giver but thought nothing of it. Even John (refer to previous post), protective as he is, is amused how I keep receiving gifts.

      Because of these gifts, I got the Cheap Date Award. LOL. They have no idea how close they are to the truth (not that I’m easy but I just mean I’m mababaw, let’s make that clear ☺). Goodness, even my poker game keeps reminding me about it!

      I’ve only started playing poker online just recently. Less than a week to be exact, thanks to another addict who invited me in. Everytime I go online, there’s always a playmate who’d invite me to be a poker buddy. I don’t usually accept invites unless I find them good, they have way more chips than I do (in case I lose big time), and they really are nice.

      Last weekend, I accepted a new buddy and as it happens, he’s a Filipino living in Las Vegas. I don’t know why I accepted his invitation. Maybe because he’s Filipino and he seemed generous in giving me chances to win. He’s also quite protective of me when I become impulsive. Well, during our session last Sunday, he’d been winning big time and I kept folding. He said I was his lucky charm and all the other players were teasing us. It was all in good fun. I guess we were all bored that day. LOL. As it turned out, he later told me, that he lost most of his chips when I left the table and went offline. Looks like I really was his lucky charm. ☺

      Anyway, I just can’t believe how fast it is to make friends when you share the same hobby. It’s like finding kindred spirits. To John, thanks for making my online poker games more fun. See you next game!

      Got this from the internet. Whether I believe the items below, I’d rather not give my opinion. I know a few men who are just like these types but I do believe that there’s somebody for someone. Lahat nakakahanap ng katapat.

      Currently on the market?  Good for you, girl!  But make sure you read this post before rushing into a new relationship.  Here are ten types of man that are not likely to make you happy, and from my point of view, it’s better to stay away from them as soon as they show one of these patterns.  

1. Born complainers …

Nothing will ever be good enough for this man, you’ll always be too loud, too stupid, too happy…..Avoid him like you would the plague, you’ll never be good enough for him and he’ll just kill your self esteem.

2. ‘Damaged’ men …

… Who don’t want to be fixed. On your first date he’ll announce that he is not over his broken heart. On your tenth, you’ll realise that he isn’t just broken hearted; he enjoys it, and has made a solemn pact to never let anybody in again. His armour is so thick that you’ll never get through, so don’t waste your time trying.

3. Guys that love sports more than you …

Most guys will put a sport first at some point, but you know that he’ll be there for you if you need him. Guys who love sports too much, however, won’t care if the house is on fire or the babies crying, he’ll just want another beer and some “peace” to watch the match.

4. Men who analyse you …

He thinks he’s Freud, and analyses your every move, from the flavour of crisp you choose to what you watch on TV. He’ll sit with a smug smile, convinced that by labelling you he’ll be keeping you hooked. Soon he’ll be trying to “fix” you with his weird theories….bin him now.

5. Pretty-Pretty boys …

They will just leave you feeling ugly while he spends his time fixing his hair and acting more beautiful and delicate then you. Find a more masculine man, and leave him preening himself.

6. Mr. I’m-Better-Than-Everyone …

He won’t do you any favours either. He’ll never smile, or be happy for you, and if you spend long enough with him you’ll start to despise the human race too. Leave him to feel smugly better than anyone, and go meet someone amazing.

7. Paranoid men …       

Something gave them the green eyed monster, and it’s just never gone away. He’ll presume you’re cheating, hate anything that makes you look good and constantly accuse you of flirting with others. He won’t be happy until he’s the only person in your life, so bail now.

8. Men who just haven’t grown up …

These men refuse to get a job, blame everyone else for their laziness and unhappiness, and are constantly outraged that they are not respected. If he hasn’t grown up by now, chances are he’ll never take any responsibility, so stay well clear.

9. Cheaters …

Obviously, it doesn’t matter who this guy has waiting for him at home, if he sees somebody he likes, he’ll seduce them. Save yourself the heartache and live by the old saying, “Once a cheater, always a cheater”, because if it wasn’t true, wouldn’t somebody have proved it wrong by now?

10. Cruel men …

The kind of man who gets off from the power of refusing to take you somewhere, or spend money on you, or any type of power at all. He won’t get better, and it’s not because he loves you. Walk away, as fast as you can.

      I am pretty much a boring person. The things that I love to do are not really that exciting. It’s weird but it doesn’t discourage me from doing them at all.

I love to…

1. Read books    -       I’ve been reading pocketbooks since I was nine and by the time that I reached my tween years, I was already reading romance novels. That’s how I knew that I’ll forever be a sucker for romance.

2. Cross-stitch   -       I must’ve completed more than a dozen huge patterns and unfortunately, I had to stop because there’s not much time. I plan to go back someday. There’s something about it that relaxes my mind.

3. Play poker     -       I got this from my brothers and I just learned lately that I have friends from way back in high school and college that are playing professionally now. It’s just so fun being able to read people’s next move and beating them at their own game. In fact, that’s the only reason why I have a facebook account – to play online poker for free.

4. Sleep            -       Ahh, this has got to be my most favorite hobby. If only I have all the time in the world to do this often. LOL.

5. Cook             -       I don’t profess to be a very good cook. I still need a lot of practice but since I just don’t have enough time, I couldn’t seem to do this often. Whenever I stay at home, I cook for the family and so far they have no complaints. Someday, I’d like to be able to do this often.

6. Listen to jokes       -       I am so easy to please. Most men that I dated got the opportunity because they made me laugh. Somebody once told me that because it’s such a main criteria for me but I’ve such poor taste in jokes, therefore, I am an “easy girl” (Was it you Ian?). I hope not. I know a good joke when I hear one.

7. People-watch        -       Now, most people would travel and go for whale-watching, have pictures taken, and see scenic spots. Me? I love to watch people. That’s what I do when I travel. I just love watching them do their own thing and, often, I make stories about them in my mind. I would figure out people’s personalities just by watching them. People really are interesting subjects.

8. Sing      -       How could I not love this? I often tell people that if only I have a great voice, I wouldn’t be working as a corporate slave anymore. I’d be in every bar that you could find belting my favorite songs. Since it’s too late to dream about that, I settle for videoke bars instead. At least for a while I can pretend that I can sing. ☺

9. Dance   -       Just like my singing, this is also a hopeless case. Nevertheless, I still dance whenever I have the chance. I used to date someone who loved to go to bars and we’d dance together. He used to compliment me with my dancing and tell me that those that are good at dancing are also good in bed. Yeah right like I’ll ever give him the chance to find out. ☺

10. Watch movies      -       I don’t watch television often but I do love going to movie houses and watch my favorite movies on the big screen. I just don’t have the time to do this regularly but whenever good movies are shown, I try to find time. There’s also one thing that I’ve never been able to do ever since. It’s watching movies alone. Someday I’d do this just for experience’s sake. It shouldn’t be such a pathetic thing to do, should it?

      I’m back at work with a nasty limp after being on leave for one week. I hate looking like an invalid but I can’t help it. It’s killing me if I walk on my left foot. According to the hilot, it seems that I’ve dislocated a vein. I’d have loved to go on sick leave but I just can’t. There’s too much work pending in the office. As it happens, when my boss and the rest of my officemates saw me limping, they all have their theories on the reason why. None of which was close to the truth.

      I can’t be so sure how I got the injury. All I know is that the pain started late Saturday afternoon but it was bearable. It was when I woke up Sunday morning when I can barely walk due to the pain. Looking back, I must’ve gotten it last Friday. Don’t ask how I think it happened last Friday. You wouldn’t want to know.

      I just find it so funny how people come up with their own theories. I can’t blame them. I was out for a week and came back with a limp. They added one and one and came up with four. I was actually tempted to hold a contest that whoever could guess the reason for my limp correctly would get a special prize from me. I just didn’t pursue it because I couldn’t think of a prize.

     My boss keeps pressuring me that I should have it checked by a doctor. If I know doctors correctly, they’d either give me pain relievers or have my foot cast. Either option doesn’t sound good to me. So, being hardheaded that I am, I think I can still bear the pain. It’ll hopefully go away in a few days. For the meantime, I’ll have fun listening to their theories.

      If there’s one thing that would describe how I’ve lived my life, it would be that I played too safely, that is, I didn’t go for overtly physical challenges, dangerous adventures, and dare-devil stunts. Until just recently. In broad daylight where people might see. Only one person is witness to that act and I pray to the high heavens that there’s no one else.

      If I could describe it in a vague but precise manner, it was such a risky but an exhilarating, heady experience. For a few minutes, I felt like I was finally free.

      To you who made it possible, at that time when we did it, I’m not sure whether to thank you or to hate you for making me do such a very “dangerous” stunt. It was so unlike me. I couldn’t look at you in the eye right after because I was shocked and a little ashamed.

      Nevertheless, there’s something about it that would forever be in my memories. I could never have done it if not for you. Again and again, it amazes me that you could make me do things that I never thought I would. I never thought I had the guts. I guess I was just feeding on your guts. You have enough for the two of us. LOL.

      I am not sure how it made you feel. You never tell me about these things in a serious way. I do wish you would. For all I know, you could be thinking that I’m such an idiot and I know I must’ve frustrated you at times. Well, since you started teaching me all these, just be patient. I’ll find my way soon. You just might be surprised one day.

      By the way, my car misses you already.☺

      I travelled with a Japanese-American for almost 2 weeks. I didn’t mind at first. I’ve known him for years and he’s one of the most well-respected directors in the company – morally and technically. What worried me was that he has a jealous wife – a very, very jealous Filipina wife. She’s notorious for throwing a fit everytime she gets jealous over anyone that even slightly looks at her husband. I’ve heard stories about their marriage which could explain what made her so insecure but it’s definitely not because of her husband being unfaithful. One look at her husband and you’d know that he can’t do it. He’s a very good man as far as I know.

      Anyway, there were several instances that she actually meddled and found ways to move any employee under her husband that she gets jealous with. Not that I’m afraid of that because she doesn’t have a clout over me. I work for her husband’s boss too and it just so happens that her husband is needed for the current project that I’m working on. What I’m just wary of is the scandal that she could create. It’s a good thing that there were two more men who joined us. Nevertheless, I’ve heard rumors that she’s starting to ask around about me.

     I’ve always been careful in steering clear away from scandals. Despite that, I was still rumored to be a mistress of my former boss and while nobody really bought it in the office and it was done so discreetly, I didn’t like it. I found myself crying over it for two whole nights before I was able to move on. Even my current boss knows how I dread being talked about in the office – positive or negative. I rarely even talk about my personal life (except for a very select few) just to prevent any kind of talk about me.

     Just to avoid those rumors, I often have to lie to people that I’m engaged so they’d shut up and stop making stories. Maybe I should really start talking about my personal life so they’d stop getting so intrigued about me. I think that’s what fuels the “who-I’m-with” talks because I seem so mysterious to them. I can’t help it if I’m a private person really and I can’t help it too if I often have to work with men who may be committed. It’s not as though I flirt with them. I’m not even sure if I still know how to do that. It’s just work and what I do with my personal life is my business.

      I just hope that the wives and girlfriends and their “spies” stop looking at me as though I’m a threat. I do understand how they feel because I, too, had my “jealous moments”. But I didn’t create scenes and I usually get the facts straight. I may not be married yet but it doesn’t mean I’m out to grab their husbands and boyfriends. I can’t even sort out my personal life and I don’t need further complication okay? When I do get married I’ll probably send them a note so they’d shut up already. So there, that should clear things up.

      Ires just posed a dare directed at me. I am supposed to have dinner with a very elusive guy and get personal information about him that only he knows. In exchange, she’ll treat me to dinner. Mababaw, I know.

      See, I’ve been hearing a lot about this guy from Ires and even from my former boss. When we were both financial analysts then, we used to talk over the phone discussing a common project. He used to tell me to give him a call whenever I’m in Makati. He’s based in Makati and I, in Mindanao. But we never got the chance to meet in person. Years later, by some sheer coincidence, we’re both in Business Development and both involved in the same big project that the Company’s very interested in. Looks like we’ll be both working on this India project. So I started asking Ires again who used to hold office temporarily in the same Makati office where he’s based. It’s not that I’m interested in him romantically. I’m just curious about the way he works because that would greatly affect the synergy that we’re supposed to create between our Divisions.

      Then Ires told me about how suplado he is. How he doesn’t mingle with officemates and how elusive he is. She even went as far as describing him as a dead-ringer for JC de Vera. Others think he’s mayabang but I’ve met a lot of his kind to even be bothered about it. So she challenged me and told me that she’ll be amazed by my “charm” if I can be friends with him. Well, being friends is simple so I took the challenge but she went on to tell me that I should go out with him and have a non-business matter dinner and that I should get personal information about him. That was not simple anymore so I asked for something in return. She offered free dinner at a favorite Thai resto and shallow that I am, I took the dare. Now, my problem is how to get started. Geez, I’m not supposed to care about it but because I gave my word, I’m gonna see that I get it done…I should really get some diversion in life.

      My last business trip has gotta be one of the most interesting yet scariest trips that I’ve ever had. What started out as a very engaging travel ended quite sourly for me.

      It was my third and last night at one of the most posh hotels in Bangkok overlooking a huge and busy river (by the way, if you’re not scared to travel to Thailand, now is the best time to go. Hotels just give out a lot of freebies including exclusive memberships just to keep tourism going there.) After availing of their free Thai massage, I went back to my room, took a hot bath (whether that was right or wrong taking a hot bath after a massage, I guess it’s too late to regret now. LOL.), changed to my sleepwear and fell soundly asleep only to be woken up at past 12 midnight by a loud thunder. Then, I just felt the whole floor shook from right under me and I swear the sound kept getting louder and louder until it sounded like gunshots and bombs. So, eyes wide open and lying still, I kept telling myself that this could be it. The hotel is under siege just like what happened in their airport. This could be my end and I wasn’t even able to bear a child and spread my race yet. Anyway, I finally found the courage to get up and look outside my window from my 22^nd floor room. And what do you know? I saw a huge ferry down below launching what could be one of the most elaborate fireworks displays that I’ve ever seen. It was beautiful, amazing, surreal, and almost caused me a heart attack. Shoot! It wasn’t even New Year and as far as I knew, there was no festival going on. So I figured it must be a rehearsal for a big event and they just had to do it in the middle of the night scaring the ass out of me. So, since I’m already awake, I decided to watch the whole display. I wasn’t able to go back to a peaceful sleep since then.

      Then the morning after, my sis-in-law sent me an SMS telling me that my father is not feeling well and had to be rushed to the hospital in Davao. Now, great. I’m still in Thailand, my boss is still talking about business, the business partner was almost late for our flight, and I couldn’t even call my dad. Just great!

      When I arrived in Manila, it was kinda ok because I got a call that dad was doing okay. My special friend also indicated that he’s free and able to see me. Well, since Murphy’s law always applies to me, he called me up later in the night to tell me that he couldn’t make it but he’ll be by for breakfast the following day. I didn’t know what to do and didn’t like the idea of having no one to talk to that night. So I texted this good friend whom my other friends keep telling me that I should inform whenever I’m in Manila. So I just asked him if it’s true that he’s back from his 7-month stay in the US. I was just looking for a conversation really. Then he called me less than a minute later asking me where I was so, honest that I am, I told him that I’m in Manila Pen. He kept inviting me out so I just had to give in with the condition that we invite another common friend with us. So the three of us went out and found a place in Ortigas to chat and catch up on each other’s lives. Then we started talking about failures, successes, and of course, the 4-letter topic that I’m beginning to dread, LOVE. It’s not that I don’t like talking about it. It’s just that I wasn’t comfortable talking about it to them because I know that I’d end up talking about IT. Silly me, I know. After taking the other friend home, he took me back to the hotel and he gave me so many advice about life and love on the way back until we ended up parking the car at the hotel entrance and talked an hour further. I didn’t know he had so much to share and that he could be a good listener as I tell him of my dreams and timelines. This is from someone who once attempted to take our friendship to the next level, and failed. He really was just a good friend to me and mentor in many ways.

      It was really, really late (3 am) and way way past my bedtime. When I got to my room, I got a call from this friend who couldn’t make it that night to tell me that he couldn’t make it for breakfast for understandable reasons. Knowing him, I knew from that tone that we’d never see each other during my whole stay. Geez, what a way to end the extended day. I couldn’t sleep a single wink anymore.

      So off I went to a late morning meeting with heavy eyes and tired body. Since I didn’t feel like going to lunch alone, I had to contact this ever-reliable balikbayan friend again. I knew he has a busy day and in the middle of a meeting but I also knew that he’d be there for me. He didn’t disappoint and fetched me from where I was having a meeting. After lunch, I had to go back to the hotel to finish something and sleep. And I still couldn’t sleep so I went down to the lobby, worked on my computer, and drank two full glasses of milk. It must have endeared one of the elder waiters that he brought me a piece of cookie on my second glass, on the house with a huge conspiring smile. Nice!

      Then I went online and saw that my former co-trainee was online. I had to tell him the bad news that our trainor cum consultant already left and could endanger his certification as well. Only to receive a reply asking me where I am. I couldn’t tell a lie so I told him that I’m in the Pen. Shockingly, he offered to drop by later that night and he’d bring the beer so we could drink in my room. Now, he’s a friend, he’s been nice to me, he’s quite good-looking and intelligent too BUT he’s very much married and I’m not interested in him that way. So I told him that my room is off-limits because it wouldn’t look good for him to be there. He asked whether I trust him and I point-blank said that I don’t. That must have broken the ice because he admitted that it won’t be such a bad idea for us to hook up. I must be getting older and already a pro at saying no that I didn’t get offended at all. I just stood my ground until he relented and agreed that we chat in the lobby instead. He’d drink, I’d eat. So it was set but I had a change of mind later. Suddenly, I was so tired to go out of the room and not in the mood to chat with a married man. Like what I did not long ago, I told him that we should probably cancel and schedule it for next time. He replied that he understood – 3 hours after. Great! I just disappointed someone so I turned to the TV for comfort.

      As I was about to doze off, I attempted to turn off the TV via remote control. When I pressed the power button, the volume increased. So I pressed again and volume increased even further to its maximum. I must’ve disturbed the whole floor with the loud noise and I was fumbling for the plug and I couldn’t find it. I turned to the manual power button and it suddenly became quiet. Whew! Minutes later, the TV went on by itself and it wouldn’t stop flashing on and off. I don’t know if there are spirits there making fun at my expense or the TV just malfunctioned but I pressed the power off button again. Good thing it stopped or else I’d have camped out of somebody else’s room. I don’t care whose it would be.

     The following day, I was supposed to prepare to go home with the 4 pm flight departure in mind. So I called up the reception to inform them that I’d have a late check out at 1:30 pm and that I’d need a hotel taxi. She asked for my flight details, bless her, so I got my ticket only to see that the flight I was booked in was actually 2 pm. Geez, I was almost late for my flight. I had to thank the receptionist so profusely that she had to laugh. I didn’t care. I was just grateful. I was going home in time and everything would be okay at last. Hours later, we landed safely -- in the middle of a very heavy rain. Cats and dogs type of downpour. Great. Juuust Great!

     Michael Jackson is dead. When saw it on the news this morning, I couldn’t believe it and little did I notice, a few drops of tears poured from my eyes. Senti na kung senti, OA na kung OA. I was not grieving because he was my idol. I was grieving because he left so many people in tears. He touched so many people’s lives through his music and I grieved for them.

      A very dear friend’s husband also just died late last week. She’s become a second mother to me and to be away while she’s going through so much is killing me. I wish I was with her. I wish I could shelter her from the pain. I wish Kuya Rodney did not have to die. I wish my mother didn’t either.

      Death still affects me that way. I thought I was over it. I thought I can now detach myself from every death that I know. I guess you’ll never know how to sympathize with those that lost a loved one until you don’t lose one of yours. My heart still bleeds for every death and a part of me wishes that I don’t have a heart like mine. I wish it were as cold as ice, as hard as steel. I wish I could let it die and make my body still live on. That way, I never have to cry. Not ever again.

      I was discussing a very serious topic with a friend late last week and somehow, the subject of the feeling of being “left behind” came up. Coincidentally, we share the same feeling that we seem to be just staying stagnant as we watch the world go by. It’s not that nothing really happened with our lives because like in my case, there have been a lot of developments but somehow these experiences still leave me wanting for more. I want more out of life and it seems like all the rest of our friends have gotten what they wanted whereas, we both don’t feel like getting anywhere in life.

      Could it be that what we thought we wanted were not what we really want at all so that when we get them, we feel like it’s not IT? Could it be that what we really need to do is to strip off our wishes of complications and leave out the naked and simple truth – that what we really want have been right under our noses all along?

      For sure, I know what I want and I’ve been consistent so far. These are simple things but how come I’m choosing to trudge the complicated path? Why can’t I just go with the simple one and get it all started whatever it is that I want to do? Or am I just over-analyzing things? Am I asking too many questions? Should I just go with the flow and accept what life can bring me? Wouldn’t it be simpler that way?

      Someone asked me whatever happened to my dream of settling down and becoming a housewife (I hope, dear someone, that you’re reading this). For a while I was taken aback because it was asked while I was talking about my work.

      I must admit that I’m a walking contradiction. I really am a bit excited about my new work, quite frankly. But if given the choice right now between settling down and pursuing my career, I’d still say that I’d choose to settle down. If I can have both, I’d still be glad but I’d never choose my career over family. Heck! I sooo love children and I wouldn’t trade them for the world but I want to have them the right way – in a loving and stable environment, in a proper home. I guess my mother brought me up that way.

      The reason that I’m still pursuing my career is because I have to be contented with what I have now. And when I say I want to be a housewife, I’ve always been thinking of going into a small business  too where I can manage my time and prioritize my family, just some sort of sideline to sharpen my brain and augment the family income.

     This is still my dream and despite the fact that it’s delayed, I’ve never lost hope that it will come. Some things are just worth waiting for.

      “There are some things in life that are just not worth rushing… especially, something that you wish would last forever…”

                                                                           - text message

      First of all, I want to apologize to my readers for having been absent for almost 3 weeks. I just didn’t have the time but believe me, I missed this blog so much.

      I just came back from a two-week business trip to India – South India to be exact. I, and 3 others, landed in Bangalore at around 11:50 in the evening, Philippine time (India is 2.5 hours behind the Philippines). The hotel where we were billeted is some 45 minutes away from the airport. For someone whose normal sleeping time does not go beyond 10 pm, it was sheer torture for me.

      Based on the title, this is a countdown of the things we thought we knew about India but, based on first-hand experience, turned out to be mere myths. If, by some cruel twist of fate, I have a reader who’s of Indian descent, I offer my apologies. This is my attempt to vindicate you. Here goes…

Myth #1: Most Indians Smell Really Bad

      While we were in the Singapore-Bangalore flight, there were several Indian passengers. Lots of them actually. And I did smell that pungent, long-lasting off-odor. It got me worried that my vertigo would recur because the smell was dizzying. So I prepared for the worst upon landing. The face mask that our medical director gave us for A(H1N1) protection was already in my hand to protect me from a more distressing ordeal – smelling Indian body odor. And what do you know? The smell that I was expecting did not come. In fact, it was nowhere to be found. That got me almost disappointed. Did we just happen to be unlucky to ride with smelly co-passengers or have we gotten immune to the smell after only 3 and a half hours of traveling together with them? Hmm, so I braced myself for the following day.

     The next day, that smell did not come again. In fact, it was not there for the next 11 days. I wouldn’t like to think that we were such special visitors that the whole of South India took a long bath everyday that we were there. Yes, I did smell that odor occasionally just as we sometimes smell foul body odor from fellow Filipinos from time to time. But apparently, most of them don’t smell at all. We’ve been to practically everywhere in South India and met a lot of people so I can’t say that it’s only our hosts that took a bath everyday you know.

Myth #2: India Is Dirty

      Bangalore has got to be even cleaner than most of the cities in the Philippines. Yes, it’s not exactly like Marikina but surprising at may be, you don’t see trash being thrown everywhere and people follow traffic rules. You might have also heard of stories that cows and monkeys practically co-habitate with humans and roam around the streets and main thoroughfares of India. Well, I didn’t see them in Bangalore and didn’t see them crossing the roads in the provinces either. Unless the cows they’re referring to are the foreigners.

Myth #3: Indians Are Rude

      The Indians that we met have got to be one of the nicest people that I’ve met in my whole life. Yes, you could say that they should be nice because we’re visitors. But I don’t think the vendors were just showing off when they gave us their heart-warming smiles or the lady selling flowers was insane because she offered to braid my hair so she can twine her jasmine flowers around it. Nor do I think that the farmers are just being plastic when they welcomed us to their homes and served us their best food, made me carry their grandchildren, and gave me a whole bunch of bananas that one farmer noticed I was fond of eating. If you think that Filipinos are hospitable, wait till you meet Indians in their homeland. In fact, one of them even told us that hospitality literally kills in India. You see, they’ll keep serving food the whole day and if you’re too shy to refuse the fourth round of servings, then you might just end up dead due to over-eating.

Myth #4: India Is Too Hot To Live In

      While there are places in India that go as hot as over 40˚C, there are still places that are just a joy to live in. Bangalore for example has a temperature that ranges from 33˚C to as low as 8˚C. And I’ve never seen such lovely rainfall. It rains in the afternoon for an hour or so and ends just when people are going home and the breeze after the rain is just so nice.

Myth #5: There Is Not Much To See In India

      I never really had the time to see much of the tourist spots of India but the old buildings, temples, and Catholic churches that I’ve seen look so magnificent and they are just within the city. There are places like Goa, where more tourists reside than the locals because of the pristine beaches, and Mysore where the palaces of the king are located and the hotels are designed like palaces that you’d actually feel like royalty when you stay there. And of course, the Taj Mahal which is up north.

Myth #6: India Is Such A Backward Country

      Contrary to popular notion, India has already embraced the Western way of thinking. Whether it’s good or bad for them, we have yet to see. But they have the best universities where exams are so tough and aspiring students vie for limited slots. Their IT city looks like it’s pulled out from outer space. And while most women still wear sarees, their traditional dresses, they also wear modern clothing. They just wear traditional clothing because it’s become their casual wear. Well, I could never wear the saree all by myself. Just watching how they fold the cloth and drape it around their body is like forcing me to apply make up on my face. I’d be hopeless.

      They also embrace all kinds of religion and they accept people’s beliefs. There were a few that I’ve met who actually tried going to a Catholic church. The best universities in Bangalore are, in fact, run by the Catholic church.

Myth #7: Authentic Indian Food Is Too Spicy

      Indian food is not actually that spicy. They just put so much natural herbs, which is good for our health really. Thai food is even hotter and Indians say that even they cannot withstand Thai cuisine. They are also very considerate to ask you if you find the spiciness alright and if not, they will tone down the spices. It’s that simple for them. In fact, I must’ve eaten more Indian food in two weeks than I have Filipino food in over a month. Of course, there are food there that I just found inedible, the chutney for example. It’s mostly made of spinach and grounded to be made into gravy and their after-dinner mints which they say are good to aid digestion is like tasting hell on earth. Personally, I think they serve as food repellant because after eating them, you’d have no appetite to eat anymore. It made my tongue go numb and the flavor stayed in my mouth the whole night even long after I’ve brushed my teeth. I guess these are just exceptions because generally, their food is quite okay.

      After several years of being a corporate slave, I’ve hired and lost a lot of subordinates. Everytime we hire somebody new to work with me, I make sure that I somehow impart everything that I know or, at least, everything that he/she needs to survive in the corporate jungle. I am proud to say that almost all of them have gotten by, and, in fact, got promoted. It’s not really good for me because I always end up looking for someone else because the bosses seem to think that when someone went through me, he/she becomes a prime candidate for all types of job. What do they think I am? A vocational school? ☺ Okay, enough of this whining.

      There’s this one guy who took over my job when I moved to my current one. He must’ve been the one who had worked with me the longest and I actually groomed him to take over my position. He’s really intellectually ready for the job. What just took me too long to let go of the position was because I had to develop his guts. He’s originally mild-mannered and I feared that he might not make it considering the kind of people that he had to deal with. In my experience, only two things worked in that kind of job. You either charm them or play hardball. In the end, I had to let go while keeping a watchful eye of the people who would try to test him. I literally watched his back. He didn’t know this but I often had to work underground on these jerks so he didn’t have to feel so pressured.

      Barely a year and a half after I left, he was moved to another area where even more a**holes would be after him. Because I still think of him as my responsibility (not anymore really), I ask him from time to time how he’s doing and remind him of everything that I taught him. He seems to be doing okay – new boss and all, and he’d often tell me what’s going on and that he’s been using everything that I told him. It’s just so unnerving that sometimes he’d use those “tricks” on me. He couldn’t fool me when he does it and I would tell him often of the golden rule of mentoring – never apply the things that your mentor taught you on your mentor herself because it wouldn’t get you anywhere. It would crack him up everytime.

      That’s the disadvantage of mentoring. You get played on by your own tricks and yes, you get attached too. Letting go is also an emotional burden. But the best thing about it is the feeling of having made a difference in somebody else’s career, in somebody else’s life. When something good happens to them, it always makes you proud that somehow, you’ve helped them make it happen. So, I guess, I’ll never stop mentoring. It’s also my way of paying forward the mentors who have helped me along the way all these years.

      In the spirit of celebrating another year of my life, I am recounting my own life-changing moments.

      I am only including those that happened until 2007. I prefer not to include last year and this year for reasons that I would like to keep to myself for now. This is in random order.

Meeting A Road Accident

     It was the first and only time when I thought that I could physically die. It’s true that at that moment when you think that you’re dying, your life just flashes right through you and you’d think that this is it. This is the end and all you could do is surrender. And when you finally realize that you’re still alive and well but somebody else died instead, it would make you think how short life really is and that person you see lying underneath the vehicle could have been you. So it must be up to you to live up to the fact that you were spared for a reason.

Leaving Home For Work

      I used to be so attached to my home and my family and to have to leave it because my work required me to do so, was a shattering experience. Every Monday, whenever I had to leave home for work again after spending the weekend at home, was a day I dreaded the most. I must’ve cried a million tears for the first three years. Yes, three years. It took me that long to finally accept that I was exactly where I was because it was meant to happen. That experience taught me that it is when you learn to accept that you appreciate what you already have.

Going Back To School

     Four years after my college graduation, I decided that I wanted to go back to school. It wasn’t because I needed it for career advancement. I was nursing a broken heart and I needed diversion so badly. For almost three years, I toiled so hard and tried to balance my work and my studies but I had no regrets. I loved every moment of it. Had I not gone back to school, I wouldn’t have met the special persons that played a big role in forming me as the person that I am now. I wouldn’t have been able to forge deep friendships that I will forever hold dear in my heart. I wouldn’t have been able to experience the joy of finishing something that I so loved doing. Not everybody was given that kind of opportunity and for that, I count myself lucky.

Helping Out A Helpless Stranger

     I already posted this a few entries ago. I don’t usually talk about whatever good deed that I’ve done but this one is an exception. I am not proud that I was able to help this man. I am in fact humbled that no matter how good my intention was, being able to give will never be enough. I didn’t do enough. Giving may be a sacrifice but it is a sacrifice that actually blesses the giver more than the receiver. The act of giving actually changes the giver. That’s what happened to me and I was never the same again.

Falling In Love For The First Time

      Remember those stories we read when we were teenagers about falling in love and everything just falls into place and “they lived happily ever after”? Well, it’s not exactly true. For us unlucky ones, falling in love for the first time just taught us how heartache feels like. But the most important lesson I got about it is not during that moment of bliss. It is that moment after when I was finally putting the pieces of my heart together. Yes, it was broken but it wasn’t totally shattered. It can still love again. Time does heal all wounds. I just had to wait.

Losing My Mother

      This is by far the most painful moment of my life and I could never imagine how I was able to survive that loss. The only reason that I could think of was that, probably, I didn’t survive at all. A part of me died with her and I don’t know if I’ll be able to revive that part. I think it will forever be with her but despite that loss, something good came out of it. It taught me how to handle such painful heartbreak. It taught me that losing someone you love so much does not have to harden you. In fact, it will teach you how to love even more despite knowing that every love that you give is a gamble and you could end up losing the game. But to have been given the chance to love so deeply and so selflessly is a prize already. And the pain somehow becomes a little worth it.

      I’ve had my share of heartbreaking and sleepless nights and, often, I would wonder how I was able to get up and do my regular routine the following morning. Yes, I would drag my feet in the morning just to keep them moving everytime I’ve had those bad nights. Yes, I don’t like the feeling the morning after and it would seem like nothing will ever go right for the remainder of the day.

      One morning, somebody sent me this through email.

      "When we look back and wonder how we ever made it through, we realize it's not because we've been clever but because God has been wise, not because we've been strong but because God has been mighty; not because we've been consistent but because God has been faithful."

      Someday, I’d tell the sender how this quote pulled me out of my miserable morning and made me look forward to the things that would come my way in the coming days…

      I just celebrated my birthday last Friday and in fairness, I’ve gotten my share of surprises.

     The night before my birthday, my boss invited all the company managers for cocktails at his house (that turned out to be a dinner party because he knows that Filipinos love to eat rice in the evening. LOLS).  There was no explanation why but it was implied that declining the invitation was not an option. Since I thought that it wouldn’t be noticed amidst the sizeable crowd, I came in almost an hour late. I just felt the urgency when I received a message from my boss asking me where I am just as I was about to enter the backdoor. My suspicions heightened when I entered the kitchen to chat with the food attendants (who became my friends after all these years in the village) and they practically threw me out of the kitchen. Later, after dinner, everybody stood up and sang…a birthday song just as my birthday cake was brought out. Aww, I was really touched. I almost kissed my boss in gratitude.

     The morning after, I found a basket full of pink flowers on my desk (see pic below). There was no card so I couldn’t be sure where it came from but I kinda have an idea on who gave it. A few hours later, two more cakes arrived and I think they came from my boss.

                                                

      Then a dear friend from way back greeted me. I found it rather sweet because despite the fact that we don’t often see each other, he never failed to greet me on my birthday. What made the greeting more special for me was that we had a minor tiff just several weeks ago. You see, he was always just a text or call away everytime I’m on travel and it was always me who’d opt not to inform him if I’m in the area. Well, I’m trying to avoid making our relationship more complicated. I didn’t want him to think of us as more than friends because friendship is what I can only offer. But during the last time that I was around his hometown, I needed someone to talk to and I thought I could rely on him. As it turned out, he was so busy preparing for a big event at his company that he couldn’t spare some time for me. I must admit that I was devastated because I wasn’t used to him not being there when I needed him. So I left so disappointed but not really mad. Then, he greeted me on my birthday with the promise that he’s going to make it up to me. Actually, the greeting was enough already and I’ve never really stopped treating him as a friend despite what happened.

      That disappointment and the subsequent recovery only made me realize not to ask from someone what I myself cannot give in return. That lesson made my birthday almost complete. Why almost? Because there were a few who forgot about my birthday but that’s for another post…